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Silliman on Sports By Stan Silliman WASHINGTON
GENERALS INTERVIEW
JOB INTERVIEW FOR THE GENERALS My good friend, Marv Melsner, was a pretty fair small college ballplayer who prided himself on being in superior condition. He would like nothing better than to play basketball for pay year around. He’s not NBA capable, too short at 6’4” to play inside in a foreign league but he thinks he’s fundamentally sound enough to compete in big arenas around the world. When he saw this chance to play 120 games a year he laced up his Adidas and ran to the hotel where they were interviewing for new Washington Generals. He recorded the interview for our readers: Washington General Interviewer:
Your name is Marv? Sit down, please. We want
guys who love the game of basketball, love to
hear it bounce and are willing to play in all
conditions. It says here you averaged 16 ppg at
Grinnell College. Are you passionate? Are you
one of those guys? WGI: That’s good. You could be
playing in ten different countries next year,
sometimes outdoors, concrete courts. You good
with that? WGI: Some guys can’t take the
grind. Some get a little depressed. WGI: That’s the thing, Marv.
Not too many will be there to watch YOU play.
When they’re all rushing to get autographs after
the game, don’t take it too hard if no one asks
for yours. WGI: I heard tell it happened
once, but the rumor was never confirmed. How do
you feel about getting de-panted a few times a
game? WGI: Yes, you’ll be expected
to wear hearts or little doggies on your
underwear. Is that a problem? WGI: No, we follow
regulations. It’s either hearts or doggies. Plus
you don’t want the underwear looking weird when
a bucket of water is thrown on it, do you? WGI: No, confetti is for the
fans. You’ll get water splashed on you,
definitely. How good are you at blocking half
court hook shots? WGI: Wrong answer. You will
never block a half court hook shot. Understood?
You will be allowed to play defense but only at
certain times of the game. Is this a problem?
Sometimes the ball will be hidden from you in
the shirt behind your opponent’s back. Is that a
problem? WGI: Yes, when they hide the
ball, your pants will be on. Now, one more
thing, how are you with losing? Be my friend at facebook.com/stan.silliman |
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