on Sports
                                                          HANDED BOWLING
                                                          by Stan
                                                          Silliman humor
                                                          sports comedy


Silliman on Sports
By Stan Silliman

Rick Barry was one of the best free throw shooter in the NBA. In one season, where he averaged 35 points per game, he only missed nine free throws. Here’s the rub. He shot it “granny” style, two-handed between the legs “granny” style. It was stupid looking, even stupider looking than the Korean dance craze “gangnam” style.  Even Granny, when she played basketball, wouldn’t shoot such a sissified shot.

But it was effective so when Rich Barry taught Wilt Chamberlain, the worst free-throw shooter in the league, how to shoot the grannie shot, Wilt set a record hitting the most free throws in a game.

When a friend showed me a video of Jason Belmonte bowling two handed, I said that’s stupid just like Rick Barry and his sissified free throws. My friend then asked me how things worked out for Mr. Barry and I said “Pretty good, some years he sank over 95 % of his free throws.” My friend shook his head, then responded by telling me Belmonte bowled 37 perfect games, is the number two bowler in the world and his ball has 20 to 30 % more spin and speed than the ball of an average pro bowler.

His form still looks goofy. Belmonte contorts his body, keeps both hands on the ball and, get this, his thumb doesn’t go in a thumb hole!  Carmine Salvino, if he heard this (if he were alive), would be so flummoxed he’d be making all kinds of crazy Italian hand gestures. It’s worse than gangnam style, and yet, bowlers all over the world are copying Belmonte’s two handed form.  A bowling team in Bolivia has every one of their bowlers bowling like Belmonte. And they swear by it with testimonials on the internet claiming they’ve raised averages as much as 30 to 40 pins.

Rick Barry never had the basketball world adopting the granny form. Even Shaquille O’Neal, one of the foulest free-throwers ever, refused to “granny” even after it was shown he could average three or four more points per game. “Shaq doesn’t granny,” Shaq said. And if Shaq refuses to granny, you can’t make him. But, somehow, bowlers are buying into Belmonte.    

If God had intended for us to bowl two handed he would have given us dual hand dryers.
                            Stan Silliman humor sports comedy cartoons
Jason Belmonte says he adopted this style because he started bowling so young. In the beginning, at 18 months he had trouble lifting a ten pound ball. At the age of five, Belmo bowled a 179 game, and his first perfect 300 game at age 17. 

If God had intended for us to bowl two handed both our arms would be on the same side.

The Bolivians, mentioned earlier, are so bowled over by Belmonte’s style they’ve commissioned a new Simon Bolivar statue showing the explorer with a two-handed delivery. The whole country might utilize the style, being that Bolivia is full of bowlers.

If God had intended for us to bowl two handed bowling bowls would have six holes.

This is the way revolutions start... with Belmonte as its charismatic leader.  

Be my friend on My Space at
Silliman On Sports
2405 Wilcox Drive
Norman, OK  73069

Phone #: 405-360-4800
Comments or Suggestions: Email