It’s over, it was fun, it
was interesting, the most expensive Winter
Olympics ever. What did we learn?
Glad you asked. Here’s what we found out:
NO SNOW FLAKE IS EXACTLY THE SAME –
That is what is cool about snowflakes. They’re
all different. Some convert to Olympic rings,
some do not.
THE WORD WINTER DOESN’T NECESSARILY MEAN
WINTER – Can you have a winter Olympics
be fifteen miles away from a sundrenched
beach, with bathing suits and all? Apparently
you can. Sochi, during the “Winter” Olympics
was warmer than deep south Atlanta.
STRAY DOGS LIKE WINTER OLYMPICS – Sochi
was full of dogs, stray dogs, roaming
everywhere. Why not? They heard one of the
events was the dogsled. Turns out they heard
BOB COSTAS’ EYES – We know Bob Costas
does a good job of blending in no matter in
what country he broadcasts. We also know
Russia has a lot of red. Naturally, as a good
reporter and trooper, Bob Costas’ eyes turned
pink. There might not be an award for that,
but there should be.
THE WEEPING BEAR – The USA beat the
Russian Hockey team. Although we’ve seen a few
sad bears, for instance, Smokey, after a
particularly devastating forest fire, we’ve
never seen one get down and bawl like the
white Russian Sochi Bear. Just when you
think someone couldn’t have redder eyes than
CANADA LIKES THEIR HOCKEY - Let
Canada celebrate their hockey medals. We’ve
got to give them something. It’s not right we
take most of their comedians and all of their
Beibers (although everyone is trying to return
him), don’t begrudge them their medal pride.
THE DUTCH SKATE FAST
– This is what happens when you have a
flat country covered with ice, pick up a
carton of milk, wish to get home before it
freezes and need to get up to 90 mph without
getting a speeding ticket.
TOPLESS LEBANESE SKIER -- Jackie
Chamoun, a female Lebanese skier, posed
topless for a fashion shoot three years
ago. The recently surfaced pics caused a
stir in the home country although she wasn’t
as topless as the president of the host
country. In support, both Lebanese men and
women stripped, as a showing of solidarity. If
nothing else comes out of this Olympics, the
idea of stripping Lebanese makes us go hummus.
Forget wet burka contests. Young people from a
desert country disrobing to support a snow
skier? That sails us right past Arab Spring
and right into Arab Springbreak, which bodes
well for world peace.
HUBETUS VON HOHENLOHE – Multilingual
German skier wearing a mariachi suit skiing
for Mexico. Did we mention he was
55-years-old? Need we re-mention Mexico in the
winter Olympics? This guy was their only entry
and, yes, he didn’t medal.
IF IT HAS AN “X” IN IT – Just stamp USA
on the medals. Any kind of “eXtreme” event,
there’s no need for any other country to show
up. Holland can keep their
tight-trouser-big-legged speed skaters. Sven
and the gang can have it. If it requires baggy
pants and spinning five times in the air… USA,
friend at facebook.com/stan.silliman