are pushing Garth Brooks out. They think they’re
too good for “Low Places” and want a new
6th Inning song.
The Royals reason they’re out of the cellar,
why keep reminding folks of the friends they
had when they were down there. I think this is
a “duh”, a given. If you call yourself “The
Royals” why even consider you’ve got friends
in low places. No, you don’t. All your friends
are snooty and you need a better song.
We’re trying to help. Lyle even wants to
contribute. Kansas City, by the way, has a lot
of songs with its name in it. One of them was
written by great team of Rodgers and
Hammerstein with this line “Everything
is Up to Date in Kansas City. They’ve gone
about as far as they can go.” The
problem with that song is it brings up another
state plus I don’t think they’ve gone that
Kansas City Star is a good little song
about a kid’s show TV star being a big fish in
Kansas City. Roger Miller, another Oklahoman,
might just be the right guy to replace Garth.
It has the line “I’m the king of Kansas
City, no thanks, Omaha, thanks a lot.”
Roger seems to like to use the word
“king” in his lyrics if you remember “King
of the Road.” To us, that’s
perfect for Royals, even if the “King” is a
kiddie show host or a hobo.
Or do we go from Garth to the girl band
Shangri-Las with their “Train From Kansas
City.” The fans get to stand up
and sing about a lying woman. At least
it won’t be hobos, although there are trains
involved. Lying women show up often in Kansas
Do we consider Stoller and Lieber’s Kansas
City which has been covered by
everybody? I do mean everybody, Fats Domino,
Muddy Waters, Willie Nelson, Bill Haley, Lou
Rawls. All these guys sang:
“I’m goin’ to Kansas
City, Kansas City here I come (repeat)
They got some crazy little women there,
and I’m gonna get me one
I’m gonna be standing on the corner, of
Twelfth Street and Vine (repeat)
With my Kansas City baby, and a bottle
of Kansas City wine…
This would be a great 6th inning song except
for one thing, they’re ALREADY in Kansas City!
They don’t need to go there. They don’t need
to tell people they’re coming there, PLUS
Kauffman Stadium, home of the Royals is
nowhere near 12th Street and Vine! PLUS, 12th
Street and Vine doesn’t even EXIST anymore!
They ripped out everything north of 18th when
they put in the Negro Leagues Hall of Fame.
It’s a wonderful song but a terrible one
to be singing on Stadium Drive when you’re
already IN Kansas City.
We think if you’re going to kick out Garth, an
Oklahoman, and his song, the least you can do
is replace him with another Oklahoman. And
don’t be snooty about it, even though you’re
the ROYALS. Be free spirited, don’t pay no
union dues, and two hours of pushin’ broom
buys an eight by twelve four-bit room. And to
symbolize a good road record, own it… be King
of the Road. Serve little green apples
in the stadium. Sing that Roger Miller song.
When the sixth inning comes around, have a
hobo wearing a crown clean the plate by
pushing a broom. Yes, you’re the Royals,
but no need to be full of yourselves.
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