|Silliman on Sports
By Stan Silliman
SPORTS NOT TO PLAY ON MOTHER’S DAY
Ann Curry gets fired but Seth Curry graduates and Stephen Curry gets hot enough to bring the Warriors a victory so you could say Sonya Curry had a nice Mother’s Day.
We hope everyone else did, too. We’re certain all our readers are sweet to their mothers. This is why we’ve compiled a list of sports you shouldn’t play on Mother’s Day. I’m sure your mother will thank us.
STROLLER RACING – We know how much you like loading up a six-pack, heading to a hilly park then jumping in the baby stroller and taking on all comers for a downhill race. We know a lot of you even like dressing up in diapers for the race. We’re not against the race or the sport but just not on Mother’s Day.
SHOOTING BAMBI’S MOM – Fortunately, for moms everywhere, including Bambi’s, deer hunting season rarely falls on Mother’s Day. However, in far north Canada, Argentina and other far-flung places, it does. In those places, with hunts going for like $ 10K for a trophy buck (less for Bambi’s Mom), wouldn’t it be better to just take your mom for a nice dinner? You can order venison if you want.
BEACHED WHALE VOLLEYBALL – Yeah, we know it’s popular and only happens when a whale is beached. Tying one end of the net to the tail and using the blowhole for the pole at the other end is not why we don’t recommend this game, especially on Mother’s Day.
We don’t recommend this because, at one time, when your mother was pregnant with you and she stretched out on her bed, someone called her a “beached whale,” as if she was looking like one. It could’ve happened. Not saying it went down this way for all moms, and your mom could’ve been immune to this slight, but just in case remember, Moms don’t like hearing those words. Plus, just in case she doesn’t mind the words, it’s a little disrespectful to the whale.
MANATEE WATER POLO – It’s a nice sport, riding a manatee and sending balls into the nets. The only problem might be the manatee’s facial expressions. Some suggest that manatees always look pregnant and their facial expressions always appear hormonal. Skip this sport on Mother’s Day.
MOTHER’S DAY BACKSEAT DRIVER 500 – NASCAR has been trying to bring out this event for years. Putting a driver’s mother in the passenger seat and have them go at it. Even though the advertising possibilities are endless we think this could be dangerous.
“Dangerous? Have you seen my son drive? Your stick yourself in the slow lane.”
No, ma’am, we weren’t singling out your boy, just that NASCAR events are dangerous enough for the drivers without having another person aboard.
“Oh, really, Mr. Fancy Writer, who do you think taught my son to drive?”
I don’t know nor think this is relevant to the…
“Hey, get out of the way. My son and I have got places to be…”
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|Silliman On Sports
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