Did you have Winters
Olympics fever? Were you like me? I had it so bad I kept a stocking cap
in the refrigerator so I didn’t boil over.
And how about that curling? Did it get to you?
I found myself walking around the house affecting a goofy Italian
accent pretending to be a bocce-ball player “I love-a me-a some-a
curling…”
Did the fever make you recite idiotic curling
riddles, like “How do keep Canadian bacon from curling? You take away
its brooms.”
Are you still singing those curling songs? You
didn’t know about them? That’s where we can help. We’ve been
researching the internet for curling songs. Here’s one just popped up.
It’s called “Frankie and Johnnie Were
Curlers”
Frankie and
Johnnie were curlers
They were
into highlights all day
Oh, Frankie
and Johnnie were curlers
They got
married… out Iowa way
Hmmm? Doesn’t mention rocks or the Skip or other
curler terms. I’ll keep looking. Here’s one and keep in mind these
terms. The stone is called “the Rock” and center of the colorful target
is called “the House”. The captain of the curling team is known as “the
Skip”. Jonathan Coulton uses those terms in his song “Curl”.
Somewhere in the
darkness, there’s a man they call the Skipper… dreaming of gold
Put the rock
in the house. Gotta keep those Canadians down
Here’s another one from Davy Donaldson called “You Got to Have Stone”
You got to
have stone. You got to have stone.
Big, big, big
stones. If you want to sweep her off her feet
If you don’t
want to be alone… you got to have stone
The Canadian group called The Dik Van Dykes in 2003
had a song “Curling”
with lyrics like:
Curlers are a
ready bunch of boozers and carausers…
who are
afraid of linoleum and throw rocks at houses
One of my favorites is “Tournament of
Hearts” by the Weakerthans. It’s named after the Canadian
women’s curling championship sung by a guy in a curling league which is
very much like a bowling league. Sadly, the guy is lamenting his
inability to talk to women:
Now the lounge is full
of farmers for the 7:30 draw
All the championship
banners going yellow on the wall
Like my name when it
gets closer to last call
Some-a good-a curling song, no? You gotta problem
wit dat? Ciao.
