“Be careful when you
fight the monsters lest you become one.” – Fredrick Neitzsche,
Appalachian State alumnus, 1868.
“A smaller school can beat a bigger school if
smaller school has faster players at skilled
positions.” – Steven J. Dubner, Author of Freakonomics, Appalachian State
“Appalachian State is on a map. I can find it
because my school beat Michigan which is near Asia so the South African
people can education there.” Lauren Caitlen Upton, Miss South Carolina,
Appalachian State student.
We’ve collected Appalachian State quotes
because the little school from Boone, North Carolina beat Michigan
34-32 making it the biggest upset in college football history.
Correction – the biggest upset in football history. The Mountaineers,
named so because their school rests in the Blue Ridge Mountains at an
elevation of 3333 feet, deserve all the quotes we can gather. And their
elevation, although low compared to Colorado U, Wyoming U or several
Utah schools, can whip those schools in poker. More quotes:
“Always a-winning, always a-grinning, always
a-feeling fine. You bet, hey.” This is from Appalachian State’s fight
song. You can bet all the App State fans were a-grinning and saying
“Hey” after their victory at Michigan. You can also bet App State was a
little hurt when they found out Ohio State paid Youngstown State $
650,000 to come be beaten in Columbus while Michigan only paid the
$ 400,000 to come beat them in Ann Arbor.
The map usage reference by Miss Upton above was not
lost on the Appalachian State players.
“We game planned their team around the shape of their state,” says
quarterback Armanti Edwards. “We split them into two peninsulas and
then ran it right up their ulas.”
This idea was seconded by their mascot “Yosef,” a
heavily bearded mountain man whose name is derived from mountain lingo
for “Yourself.” “I all time yellin’ ‘Ula Don’t embarrass yosef.’”
“Make love, not belts. Beautiful.” Dr.
House, graduate of Appalachian State, said on his TV show when asked by
a patient to prescribe a sex suppressant drug after the patient says “I
like cows. They are beautiful. So how can people make leather?”
“Cows is purty,” says Yosef, “if I do say so mysef.”
“I’m going to enroll at Appalachian State,” said a
blogger last week, “If Miss South Carolina is that dumb, I’ve got a
chance with her.”
“The typical street corner drug dealer makes less
than $ 3.00 per hour,” says Freakonomics
author and Appalachian State grad Stephen Dubner.
“Location, location, location,” offers real estate
“If your name is Dexter and you’re good, you should
play for Appalachian State,” says Dexter Coakley, the most
famous football player to ever play for App State, after watching
speedster Dexter Jackson receive pass after pass against Michigan.
And finally Daniel Boone, namesake for the little
town where App State is located, said
“I have never been lost, but I will admit to being confused for several
weeks.” We think he probably said this after reading our column.