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                                                          Awards by Stan
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Silliman on Sports
By Stan Silliman
2012 Silliman Awards


This year, for our annual Silliman Sports awards, we’ve introduced several new categories, testifying to the strange sports year that was 2012.  We hope you agree with our choices.

Best Unibrow – Anthony Davis, NBA rookie wins it in tight one over quarterback Joe Flacco.

Oldest NFL Rookie Quarterback – The Silliman goes to Brandon Weeden, who in the terms of NFL rookie QBs is George Burns. Fortunately, Weeden is a better passer than Burns.

Quarterback Most Likely to Make Colt McCoy Feel Bad About Himself – This year the award goes to Brandon Weeden. It’s not every year Colt McCoy gets beat out by a quarterback older than dirt.

Most Shocking Trade of a Bearded Basketball Player – The 2012 Silliman goes to both the Rockets and the Thunder for their trade involving James Harden. 

Silliest Brutal European Table Game – Winner of this year’s Silliman is the Bavarian Finger Pulling Festival. Now, if they can only find enough functional fingers to hold up our little trophy.

Most Ironic Promotion – The minor league baseball St. Paul Saints win this year with their Athiest Night.

Stupidest Cease and Desist Letter – This is always a difficult choice since most “cease and desist” letters involving sports are always chuckle worthy. This year the United States Olympic Committee took the award for drafting a nasty “C & D” to stop the little old knitting ladies from having their “Ravelympics.”

Dumbest Utterance by a Baseball Manager – Florida Marlin manager Ozzie Guillen is this year’s winner by voicing his admiration for Fidel Castro within a few miles of Little Havana. Mr. Guillen always speaks his mind and we suspect he had no idea his words would win him an award.

Best Mickey Rooney Impression by a Football Coach – Former Razorback coach Bobby Petrino is the clear winner, not just because he had an affair with an assistant and ended up wearing a neck collar, but also his red face, gravely voice and stiff neck was very Andy Hardyesque. 

2012 Silliman Awards by Stan Silliman
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Best Basketball Phenomena inspired by an Asian NBA Player – We gave the award to the term “Linsanity.” We’re not sure where to send the award. We couldn’t find an address for Linsanity but no other term fits our parameters.

Most Embarrassing Failed Fundraising Scheme – The award goes to OSU athletic director Mike Holder and his “Gift of a Lifetime” insurance scheme. This is the one where OSU bought $ 10 million life insurance on a bunch of old donors hoping to make $ 300 million when they died but instead lost $ 33 million after no one dropped dead. Mike will be glad to know he’s this year’s runaway winner.

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