|Silliman on Sports
By Stan Silliman
2012 Silliman Awards
This year, for our annual Silliman Sports awards, we’ve introduced several new categories, testifying to the strange sports year that was 2012. We hope you agree with our choices.
Best Unibrow – Anthony Davis, NBA rookie wins it in tight one over quarterback Joe Flacco.
Oldest NFL Rookie Quarterback – The Silliman goes to Brandon Weeden, who in the terms of NFL rookie QBs is George Burns. Fortunately, Weeden is a better passer than Burns.
Quarterback Most Likely to Make Colt McCoy Feel Bad About Himself – This year the award goes to Brandon Weeden. It’s not every year Colt McCoy gets beat out by a quarterback older than dirt.
Most Shocking Trade of a Bearded Basketball Player – The 2012 Silliman goes to both the Rockets and the Thunder for their trade involving James Harden.
Silliest Brutal European Table Game – Winner of this year’s Silliman is the Bavarian Finger Pulling Festival. Now, if they can only find enough functional fingers to hold up our little trophy.
Most Ironic Promotion – The minor league baseball St. Paul Saints win this year with their Athiest Night.
Stupidest Cease and Desist Letter – This is always a difficult choice since most “cease and desist” letters involving sports are always chuckle worthy. This year the United States Olympic Committee took the award for drafting a nasty “C & D” to stop the little old knitting ladies from having their “Ravelympics.”
by a Baseball Manager – Florida Marlin
manager Ozzie Guillen is this
year’s winner by voicing his admiration for
Fidel Castro within a few miles of
Little Havana. Mr. Guillen always speaks his
mind and we suspect he had no idea
his words would win him an award.
Rooney Impression by a Football Coach – Former Razorback
coach Bobby Petrino is the
clear winner, not just because he had an
affair with an assistant and ended up
wearing a neck collar, but also his red
face, gravely voice and stiff neck was
very Andy Hardyesque.
Best Basketball Phenomena inspired by an Asian NBA Player – We gave the award to the term “Linsanity.” We’re not sure where to send the award. We couldn’t find an address for Linsanity but no other term fits our parameters.
Most Embarrassing Failed Fundraising Scheme – The award goes to OSU athletic director Mike Holder and his “Gift of a Lifetime” insurance scheme. This is the one where OSU bought $ 10 million life insurance on a bunch of old donors hoping to make $ 300 million when they died but instead lost $ 33 million after no one dropped dead. Mike will be glad to know he’s this year’s runaway winner.
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|Silliman On Sports
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